Book Review: Fifty Shades Freed (Fifty Shades #3) by EL James

The blurb as seen on Goodreads:

Release Date: January 19, 2012
Publisher: The Writer's Coffee Shop Publishing House
579(?!?!?!?!?!) Pages

When unworldly student Ana Steele first encountered the driven, damaged young entrepreneur Christian Grey, it sparked a sensual affair that changed both their lives irrevocably. Shocked, intrigued, and ultimately repelled by Christian's singular sexual tastes, Ana demanded a deeper commitment; determined to keep her, Christian agreed. Now, together, they have more-love, passion, intimacy, wealth, and a world of infinite possibilities. But Ana always knew that loving her Fifty Shades would not be easy and being together poses challenges neither of them ever anticipated. Ana must somehow learn to share Christian's opulent lifestyle without sacrificing her own integrity, identity, or independence; Christian must somehow overcome his compulsion to control and lay to rest the horrors that blighted his past and haunt his present. Just when it seems that together their love can conquer any obstacle, tragedy, malice and fate combine to make Ana's worst nightmares come true.

WARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS MATERIAL UNSUITABLE FOR CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF 18. 

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Review:

DEAR LORD, THIS BOOK. MY POOR BRAIN. 

If you don't know about this book, or at least this series, you are obviously a hermit. This has been the talk of the world for a while, but before it was published, it was a free online story based off of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight. And I first read when it was posted on fanfiction(DOT)net. And I enjoyed it, but I was never amazed by it. I am not amazed by the published version.

Oh what to say about this book… I liked it. I did not love it. I'm still not keen on the idea of authors using fanfiction to get into the writing business. In my opinion, it should be for fun, because ultimately, you are basing your work off of someone else's. And I have seen side-by-side pictures of this series the way it was posted as a fan fiction, and of Fifty Shades of Grey. THEY ARE 97% THE SAME. Where has creativity gone? If she had reworked it and toyed with new ideas to add to the story and somehow changed the story a bit, it would be different. But she didn't and I don't approve.

Plus, the main character literally makes me hate to be a woman. I'm by no means a feminist, but reading about Ana disgusted me. What a great role model to women and girls everywhere - this is sarcasm. She lets her life be controlled by a man she has known for like two days (maybe more like 3ish months, but still). And she is brought into a BDSM relationship because she thinks she can't live without this man, Christian Grey and the only way he will be with her is through a submissive, unromantic relationship. Now, I have no problem with BDSM, it's not my thing, but I enjoy reading some stories that involve it. This BDSM? It felt awkward and unrealistic to me. There were a lot of times when I had to shield my eyes from things that Christian did to Ana, things that shouldn't be sexual.

This book just doesn't sit well with me. The writing is amateur and the author tries to work too many "fancy" words in it. I think she used a thesaurus too much because some of them didn't even make sense. What. I just… ugh.

I skimmed a lot. I got bored really quickly with Fifty Shades Freed. I actually skimmed most of the series. Because this was porn. Not saying that porn is bad, but I expected more. If you took out the sex scenes in this series, you would probably cut down three books to one. There is no disguising it. The plot is a ruse.

I may be one of the few people in this world that didn't like this series. And this book and just thinking about the way Ana behaves makes me want to go back and give them all one star. The reason I gave this two stars instead of one is because of the ending. THIS IS A SPOILER - I'm a sucker for books with children - END OF SPOILER. I'm very disappointed in this series and the author. Overall it receives a great big MEH.

*Dear scary 50 Obsessors, please don't come kill me in my sleep. Thank you.